“Feeling absurdly impressed with the mouse who was glue-trapped, moved the trap four feet, shit, and escaped.”
EMAIL FROM MOM
Rules for dating
1. Don’t talk about the past
2. Don’t talk about the future
3. Don’t ask trick questions
Quiz: this is a photograph of a) my dinner; b) my eyeball after 14 hours staring at computer
Just overheard the best job interview answer.
Interviewer: “How would your friends describe you?”
Interviewee: “My friends would describe me as bald.”
How we name colors at Warby Parker
Shannon: hey!
Molly: hi
Shannon: we just confirmed some color names
Molly: k
Shannon: the new color is Burnt Lemon Tortoise
Molly: i’m a little worried about “Burnt Lemon Tortoise” because it sounds like a tortoise is being burned
Shannon: oh god
Molly: ?
Shannon: we don’t want people to think we’re burning a tortoise
10 reasons Iceland is better than the U.S.
1. Instead of motorized baggage carts at the airport, Icelanders have baggage scooters:
2. The logo for Iceland’s chain supermarket is a crazy-eyed pig:
3. It is light enough to eat ice cream, in the sun, at midnight:
4. Icelanders are extremely comfortable with negative space:
5. Here is a typical Icelandic man:
6. Here is a typical Icelandic baby:
7. Icelanders eat chips shaped like pasta:
8. Approximately 1 in 4 Icelanders has a trampoline in his backyard.
9. Icelandic butter pats are twice the size of American butter pats:
10. The natural shower at the Blue Lagoon is pressure-calibrated so that it feels “like being beaten by trolls”:
17 ways to distract yourself from work
•Look for gray hairs
•Twirl a pen
•Delete voicemails
•Order custom checks
•Flip mattress
•Fluff pubic hair
•Make tea
•Make a sandwich
•Think of names for future children
•Put on lipstick
•Complete this exercise: if you had to design the packet for a new kind of artificial sweetener, what color packet would you choose?
•Carve your initials into the soap
•And then the butter
•Combine different spices in a jar. This is your signature spice blend
•Melt down old scented candles and combine them into a new supercandle. This is your signature scent
•Congratulations: you have just created a lifestyle brand
•Write your will
Check out my baby Mozart ponytail.
I went undercover as a redhead for Into the Gloss. Find out whether I wore a merkin here.
“It never failed to annoy him that Savage, a Connecticut WASP and a Yale man, used Yiddish words to convey his toughness, or what he liked to call his “street smarts.”
People like secrets. Creative people REALLY like secrets.
I wrote about startups, business books, and the cult of the entrepreneur for The New Republic.
